I knew it would be hard for me to sleep if I knew she was alone in her room, so we had her in with us last night and she slept on her side to help drain anything that she would cough up. It took me a good while to settle down and stop worrying about her being ok and breathing. Finally, after I could tell she was sleeping peacefully, I dozed off and she slept from about 10pm to 6am! Then I nursed her and she fell back asleep and is still asleep at 9:35am...that kid can sleep! I wish I could sleep as much as her and her dad...he is in there with her right now snoring away.
It's such an amazing journey becoming a mother. Last night as I was laying in bed restless, I kind of realized, wow, I'm a wife and a mom now. That comes with so many great responsiblities. I will sacrifice my own comfort and sleep to take care of this little human, who I feel so connected to. I always have an ear out for her and as soon as she lets me know, I'm there by her to check: does she need a new diaper? Is she hungry, bored, uncomfortable? I guess becoming a mother is a process after the baby is born into your arms. At first, you are just blown away that this being that grew inside you for 9 months is now in your arms. You are in awe and shock, almost. Then the reality of having the baby at home hits you about a month into her life (at least it did for me). I couldn't sleep and was having some big post pardum depression. My crazy hormones are to blame. Now, I'm feeling better about all that, but Yann helps me to remember to keep my "worrying" in check. Thank God I have him to keep me grounded and to not be such a worried mom.
I never wanted to be that way, because I always thought my own mother was too much of a worrier. However, now I can see that it is just the job of the mother to worry and look out for her young. It's a normal, healthy reaction, but I just need to keep it in check. I think as time goes on and she grows bigger and stronger I will feel more reasurred. I just look at her now, almost one month and a half old and she is so delicate and vunerable. My mother in law tells me that once you become a mom, you never fully stop worrying about your children, even she stills does with her own grown boys.
Moral to the story: Everyone gets sick at some point, so we may as well get the first cold out of the way now. Maybe it will just rev up her immune system and make her a stronger girl! I hope it passes soon.
And here are some holiday pics to leave you with:
I have to say our humble "poor" Christmas tree is the most beautiful tree I've ever seen. We are having a "poor" Christmas. With Yann not yet working we've told everyone it's a giftless holiday this year! We don't want to buy or receive any gifts at all, because that's not even the point of the season, right? So, as far as our tree goes I really didn't have anything to decorate it with so with dug through boxes of old holiday stuff my parents were going to give to Goodwill. We found tons of great ornaments and then I topped those off with a few cheap ones from Target; the 4 for 1$! I think our tree is all the more glorious because it cost about 5 bucks to decorate! And also, here are the two Christmas stockings that I made for Yann and the baby. Those took a while, because they are all handmade from pieces of felt I cut out and then I embroidered shimmery beads and snowflakes on them. In my family growing up everyone had their Christmas stocking handmade by someone in the fam. Mine was made by my great grandmother. So, I had to make one for Yann because he never had one before and of course for the baby too. Now, I have to finish the combo stocking for the cat & dog. Do I really have to make one for them??
Here is a pic from a walk we took out on the beach the other day. The 'winter' weather has been so crazy here in south Fl lately. This day was foggy and misty but hot and windy. The waves were all stormy and of course we were the only weridos out in the horrible weather. We packed up after this picture and ate our picnic in the car on the way to the mall...much more civilized there!
